Something

I keep staring at your photo, 

waiting for something in me to attack. 

Something in me to fight, 

something in me to come out and say what I wanted to feel.

What I wanted to feel is,

not having this uncertain feeling,

of this forbidden love.

I ask,

wanting for the answer I wanted to hear,

but my heart take it back,

not allowing it to be said out loud.

Lost-in-forbidden-love,

Sandy

Edge

I close my eyes. To shut all the images and colours. To gone black. Pause thinking, isn't black is also a colour. I closed my eyes even closer. Forcing it to disappear. But, forcing what? It is something in me, urge me to investigate the what. But a part of me, not so far apart, scare if I discover it, how will I feel.

Is it, really, feel nothing.

Or, is it, the end of the world.

But I always have this dream, where I was on the edge of a mountain. Wind brushing my face, ever so gently. I felt the birds greeting me, knowing my existence, singing to my heart. I heard the colours of the world, I see the satisfaction of life, with my eyes closed.

And..yes, I was on the edge of everything.

Dream a little dream,

me

Why

The vital question is, why. 
I never write what I told myself to.

The never-keep-any-promises,

loser 

An honest journey of Lips & Wings (JV of two diff passion)

It's been how many month since I last blogged? (I know nobody care to remember nor calculate, so let's turn  it into a statement, not a Q). I hate to list down the reasons why I didn't blog like I used to. (No, its not because no one reads my blog). Not that I blog to impress people. *eh did I just said it loud what I said in my bracket heart? k nvm.*
   I blog because I want to keep what I wrote typed in Microsoft Word into something I would at least (once in every 6 months) care to read back. I would love to write more, but the thing about now is, I don't really have much time. Okay, no. Cut it off. I  have time, but I just used that time to do something else. Something I have pour my passion to. Which is, my Lips & Wings.
   So I think, in order to keep myself blog back, I decided that I should write an honest journey of Lips & Wings (so I would have a plotted diary, when my Lips & Wings going fame. Lol, big dream). It's like combine my two passions into one. Genius? I know!

Trial to a faithfuls blog,

pls-read-my-tittle-over-sangat

Determination never wins

Reading other's blog, thinking..Y U no blog nymore?!

Well, honestly..blogging is never mean to be famous, for me. It's just where I think I can express things into words, or where I can pretend what I wanna be, without having people to comment (but I still appreciate ur comments!). The thing is, now, I'm quite occupy with my business world. All I can think about is, Lips & Wings..and food (in conjunction of this fasting month.lol). 

Actually I have vowed to myself that I will not sleep after sahur all days during my working days! Figured that I could spent some tiny time to write. But guess, everyday's the same. I don't know where the heck my determination goes. Everytime I open Microsoft, I ended up in Google Chrome instead. But btw I did manage to write..a few..lines. =__________________=

Please write for yourself & ur future,

lazybum!

Morning air in the big city

The morning air make me a little hopeless, spiritless. Same routine for almost three weeks. Wake up, shower, get ready, one 'goodmorning' tweet, office, home, shower, dinner, and then sleep. These had being replayed for quite a number of times for these few weeks. No excitement in tomorrow.
   I punched the elevator's button and waited until the door open. My floor is the 3rd highest floor, so the elevator's car was still empty. The atmosphere in the elevator was never pleasant, the silent of strangers make me wanna scream. The trying-hard-not-to-stare's attempt is making me suffocated.
  I has just being in this big city for three weeks, but I feel like my life is already being stroked. I feel so lifeless. Like someone has just pictured me wrong image, and once I realized, regret take over everything.

Sometime..feet could be the killer.

0835
Lorong belakang Darul Ehsan

One notification, Miza Colleague whatsapps-ed me asking where I am. We were planning to have breakfast together before our office hour started. Its my second day of intern. The nervousness of yesterday has gone. Just, the sigh of thinking of the long hours ahead at the office.
   Pulled the handbreak, and I slowly get out of the car. Feel like my body's battery had drained about 30%. I opened the bonnet to change my shoes. I stored all my handbags and shoes in the bonnet. Thank mum who had it perfectly arranged, like a wardrobe.
   Found the heels that match my office wear, I sat on the bench of the open bonnet. Remove my regular and loyal flat, and thrown it back in the bonnet. I tried the heels. That's when I came to realize.

Life is hard.
To be woman, is hard.
I..can't..walk..freely/normally..in..the..heels!

murmur of a tough woman

definitely-not-wearing-it-tomorrow!