Friday, February 18, 2011

you ain't no right althou i'm the one that is sinful

why did ppl care too much about seeing/judging other imperfection? is it human nature course me myself also done the same thing(oh i really dont hv the right here.but its okay,im dying to snitch this issue,for myself)? oh i soo want an scientific explanation here.
i dont know why ppl here(the lecturers, most specific) judge their student that these way.
"kenapa tak pakai tudung pergi class? jumpa saya pukul1 karang." 'mentor''s not like i done something big sampai semua lecturer hunting for me, as if i steal campus stuff.
"cikteh, seorang mentee cikteh didapati tidak memakai tudung pada class QSD187. nak saya tolong nasihat?"
"is the rule that state qs student must wear tudung ni dah lama? no, i just ask. sebab saya taktau. saya pun bukannya pandai sangat pasal agama." law lecture
"sorry. dont feel offended. i just ask." :) law lecture
yes, i is wrong and sinful not wearing tudung in the first place. but ya allah, its not like i refuse to wear forever. i did want to wear it. i always pray for god to open my heart, indeed. but i dont know, maybe its me yang bebal sangat or  keras hati not to wear. i always respect ppl that wear. it takes a tough heart, it takes a tough heart. im weak. but somehow, i still praying to be better muslim.
i dont want to wear tudung because ppl asked me to. its a bit shame kalau kita pakai tudung secara terpaksa, for me. i want to wear it because of Allah, my only god. not because of the lecturers that paksa paksa or because of hafiz yang selalu puji kalau pakai. look from my side, they asked me to wear. and i wear. tapi niat tu dah lari. pakai pun sebab terpaksa. belajar dalam keadaan tak selesa, tak confident. oh i so not have the right to say all these. i dont know much about religion, despite the suruhan allah yang i didnt succeed. hm, but i wish they dont take it so hard on me.

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