Forever On Hold

How far can a mistake float you away? Simple thinking which seems perfect, but end up in something ugly that make us afraid to take a glimpse at it ever again.


One boy. One cute Mat Salleh look-alike boy with perfect smile, fullest eyes, big hands, robust chest and most irresistibly; sweet talk. One girl. One innocent girl with strong stance who just have nothing but her personality.


Have you ever been told to care less? Do what you like? Dance in the middle of the road? Kissing at the Pasar Malam? Just, be yourself. Be what yourself dreamt. Don't bother people, whoever.


Love seems so beautiful as pictured by Shakespeare. No, love is beautiful. Lust is a cheap dress that drown out colours and ruins all the fabrics that cumulated around it. Lust is magnificent and painful at the same time. Only true love can filter these two mixtures.


"I didn't memorize the lyrics, miss." Complaint a cute boy in an unusual outfit for a dinner party-- Baju Melayu. Seemed so lost in the hectic night.


"Ha? You what? You guys are next, right? Oh please please make some sense! We just have few more minutes!" Appealed the girl in charge for the performance that night. Began to panic with her 'surveillance'. Having to handle a big events by herself for the first time wasn't easy.


"Do you have pen?" The boy gave his innocent look. Irresistible and can't-be-yelled-of expression. Put the girl panic in hold for a while.


"Can you give me your autograph?" 


"What?" This is what this boy want a pen for? My autograph? Murmured the girl silently. So she thought the boy want to write the song lyrics he was about to sing. Without much question, the busy girl spend some of her time to sign the boy's notebook. She didn't realize she was smiling upon signing the autograph. Something unexplainable tickled her stomach, make her heart felt warm and cool at the same time.


"And, please also write your name, Facebook name, and phone number." Whispered the boy with his innocent face that he master of.


Flirt is basically an activity that will not leave effect on anyone, unless the characters involved are some kind of magic. The relationship between these two different gender wasn't stop there, that night.

The girl didn't leave her phone number because she was genuinely thought, a boy should find any possible way to get what he want if he really desired.

Short text from the boy welcomed a new relationship of these two people. New relationship that was fun, care-free, cool, romantic and blind.

They were so happy in their own world. From watching Titanic in Laptop at the parking lot, to warm and tight hug on the bed. They matched the car plate number to their resemblance, kidnap each other from the busy and pressuring life, sweet escape to somewhere only they know, sleep in the car when they had no money to rent a room.

Close and intimate wasn't a symbol of love. This is what the girl didn't understand.

So they were really close, spend each night share laughter together, but the boy never say those three words. Always avoid the topic. Leave everything hanging.

The

Girl

Die

In

Waiting

And

Still

No

Answer

As close as they seemed, as confuse as the girl concern,

Ain'W

Secret Admire (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1

Mr Sun reprimanded me warmly with his menacing smile. Its morning ray that strike through my singel panel glass window woken me up to another hopefully-bright day. I open my left eyes to survey the my surrounding. The first object I saw was, my old version computer which I got from my twelveth birthday. An old present from my Papi. The last year he was actually there for us. I spread my arms wide, yawning from remaining sleepiness. Told myself, I do better get up or I'll lose the second round. Yes, the second round. Just to think about it, I step out of my bed voluntarily. Feeling light, I walked to my computer. Turned the CPU to life, and pulled open the frezer that sit with it's pride in my tiny room to reach for a cool water. All the objects in my room is reachable. That's what I like of being in a tiny room. I don't have to walk more than ten inches. 

  I sat across the computer and reached for it's mouse. Clicked on the left section of Skype. But apparently, the person I was hoping to see is not on the line. Lose hope, I move the cursor to recommend the screen to sleep. Maybe I can try again later, I coaxed myself. Just when I'm about to clicked the sleep mode, a noticfication popped. 'One Message Received!'. My lips curled into a smile, thought I'm not sure what it's content.

My smile broaden as I saw the sender. 'Dian's Secret Admire'. Cheesy. Yes. But I like it. Like it too much, I can say. I wasn't the kind that fall in love for the classmate or hot hunk work at the Starbuck or anyone. I wasn't the kind that ever fall in love. I cannot recall when is the last time I have been in a relationship more than three weeks. This, this cliche Dian's Secret Admire somehow had make me smile upon chatting with him. 

'Morning Beautiful! :D Have you sleep well last night? Btw I saw someone left something infront your room. You do better check it out. I hope it's not boom.' I felt chilly for a while, hestate on playing this game further. Now, the secret admire is going a bit too far, ain't it? For someone who just knew me for one night, sure he is. I doubted about checking the stuff out. Considering what he have done last night, I told myself to give it a try. I appreaciated his picture of stars that he shared with me last night. I hope, at least, it's not a boom. What possibility could it make for someone who wanted to treathen me send me a pictures of sky, right? Right. 

I opened my rented room's door ajar. Still hesitating and suspicious. I spotted a McD's paper bag right in my door step. Feeling relieve as all my hesitation drifted, I picked the bag up and opened to check it's content. I smile at my finding. A large set of Double Cheese Burger. 

'Hey, THANKS! Haha I love this boom. Thought, you don't have to buy me breakfast like this. Plus, it's large set! You think Im that glutton, are you? >.

'Nahh, judging from your size... :p Haha JK. I want you to gain more weight.' 

'Grr >.< Btw thanks, again. You don't have to do this, thought. I made my breakfast already.' Lie. I don't usually open myself up to public. 

'Glass of cool water, you call it breakfast?' With this, I starled. Aware of how this annonymous know all my details, and more, what I am doing! I looked around me suspiciously, check if there any hidden camera installed in my room. Immediately, I covered my bare shoulder with my arms. Considering what I'm wearing. 

I was contend to reply. There are thousands thought in my head. Thousands logical thoughts that opposed me to reply, and a zest that urged me to do against my logical thoughts. I want to know more. The reason he send me the email, the reason he send me the picture, the reason he hooked with me all night last night, the reason he send me breakfast, the reason he target my account, the reason he know my address, the reason he know what I'm actually doing, and the reason he created the email account with my name on it ! I was terrified but I want to know the answers behind these.

Fold together my spirit, I began to type my keyboard. But just as I start my first word, a new notification was up. My eyes was smallen from focus, determination and hope.

'Dian? Did I caught you?? I'm just guessing. Remember last night you told me you were drinking cool water all this while until you got stucked on it and make it routine?' 

My mouth open in 'O' shape. Didn't bellieve that it was me actually who give him a clue. But somehow, its relive me a bit. At least, there is no hidden camera somewhere in my cozy room.

'Tell me, how do you get my address'  Wanting to know the truth. 

'Sorry. I promised to seal my mouth on the sources. Cant tell you. But hey, dont be afraid. Im not a fighter, im a lover. ;)'  That's him. Always come with this kind of words. Urgh, I hate it.

'How can I trust you? I dont even know you.'  And this is me, dazzled by him. And I hate me, too. 

'You just hv too. Im good and nice. And I'll never let you sad. :)'  My lips started to form the smile again, but my ego was against it. 

'Why would I be sad?' 

'Idk. I just dont want to be the reason, and dont allow anything invite it.' With this, my ego hurts. I smiled.

NEXT?

will be continued

first trial on english writing,

ain'w